Dave H. Recovery Blog
I’ve Seen Addiction From Every Side: Growing Up With It, Living It, Recovering From It, and Watching My Kids Fight It Teaching family members a simple framework for finding serenity—even when someone you love is struggling.
Recent posts
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What Recovery Looked Like From the Other Side
I checked my rearview mirror religiously when driving under the influence. If I saw a police car, my heart rate doubled. I’d change my route to be sure they weren’t following me. I parked several blocks from my dealer’s house and never went at the same time of day. I kept my curtains drawn and my lights dimmed. I always had a fast-food cup in the car to conceal what I was drinking. Meanwhile, my p…
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What Happened When Nobody Rescued Me
I was homeless for two years before I got sober. My parents had changed the locks on their house because when they went on trips. I’d let myself in, drink and use, go through their things, eat everything in the refrigerator, and leave the place trashed. Eventually I was asking friends who no longer trusted me to let me sleep in their garages. Some of them said no. One person took me in, got tired …
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You're Exhausted — And That Makes Sense
⎯ 😂1Living with addiction is exhausting. The burnout you feel isn’t weakness. It’s what happens when you try to do the impossible — keep someone else’s tank full when you’re running on empty. Some of us learned as kids to keep huge stores of energy in reserve for all the rules that came with the family disease. Don’t interrupt. Don’t make mom mad. Stay out of the kitchen. Don’t tell anyone. As we got …
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Your Attention Has Been On Them Long Enough
Your attention has been on them for a long time. On their moods. Their lies. Their promises. Their relapses. Their sobriety. Their job. Their health. Their relationships. Their next crisis. You’ve become an expert in reading the signs. You know what that tone of voice means. You can tell from the way they walked in the door whether tonight will be okay or terrible. You’ve learned to scan, predict,…
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I’ve Seen Addiction From Every Side: Growing Up With It, Living It, Recovering From It, and Watching My Kids Fight It
That’s not a credential I wanted, but it’s the one I have. And it’s why I can tell you with certainty: your serenity doesn’t depend on whether they get sober. I know what it’s like to be the problem. I was the defiant teenager who made my parents’ lives hell. I became the addict whose behavior destroyed relationships and trust. I was the homeless parent trying to get sober while my kids watched fr…
